The Ones that will use Big Brezz to Confuse Everybody.
This type are usually not hard to find. Every camp has them…they have massive endowments and they use it to oppress anybody and every body. Na soilders and camp officials dey suffer pass because they are the target. This types are never given any strenuous work in camp, they don’t even march sef… because well, the brezz is enough work for one person.
The Boy/girl (Bobrisky’s Brothers).
These ones are usually a source of confusion to the camp officials. Because you never know whether to put them in the male hostel or the female hostel. They usually have a lot of female besties in camp and are very good at giving make-up tips and relationship advice.
The Ajebutters(Foreign Students)
These ones can also be called IJMB meaning ‘I JUST GOT BACK’. As a rule, they never make a sentence without adding “when i was in the states…” This ones can be a real pain in the ass but are good to keep as friends; they’ll buy you a meal once or twice.
They swear they can never eat camp kitchen food but if you watch them closely at night, you’ll find them scurrying from the kitchen with a big flask filled with palm oil rice.
This ones will use SPRII SPRII English to taya everybody.
The Aprokos that think Nysc is a Fashion Industry.
These ones are very easy to spot. You will always find them with complete bridal makeup on their face even if its morning parade by 5:00am. This type will show cleavage at the slightest provocation and will instruct Mami tailors to shape their trousers as tight as possible and turn their white knicker into bumshorts.
The Omo Mummys
This ones have never been more than five kilometers away from home before, and Nysc camp is usually the farthest they’ve ever travelled.. .Infact when they were in UNI, daddy used to drop them in front of the school gate and pick them up by six every evening. Omo mummys are relatively easy to spot. They can be found in dark corners crying over the phone to mummy and threatening to quit camp and return home.
These ones came to camp to find love. They are the camp love birds. They can be found under mango trees, guava trees and sometimes under tall palm trees playing hide and seek like they are acting Indian movies. Their love almost always ends after the 3 weeks of camp is over and even if they wanted to continue the love, Nysc makes it a point of duty to scatter it for them by posting the girl to town and the boy to the village.
Ah, these ones…give them a name please.
This ones can always be found in their tent like attires. Whether it is hot or cold, they never come out of their tent. I have never seen the face of any of them, but I hear they always have lovely skin. I don’t know o
The Tush,Selense babes..
These ones are fine girls and usually come from middle class families. Not too Ajebo-ish and not too kpako-ish either. This one’s can be sported with nice weavons, simple classy make-up and nice nails. They can sha be snnobish at times.
The veryyy thick ones…
These ones came to camp as spectators. They never run, never march and would pay you to carry them on your back if you can. They can easily be sported at the Mami Market either about to buy food or resting after eating food. These ones can be friendly but are mostly bossy.
The Ones That will Propose After Three Weeks
These ones are the love at first sight people. After three weeks they will give you ring and you will carry that ring for three years. They can also be called Lord Of The Rings. Make i no talk…
The Omo Jesu
This ones are the Jesus children. “Trouser is a sin” you will always here them chant. These ones are very easy to spot because they walk in groups; each one holding a scarf so that they can easily rush to fellowship.
The Mami Market Boyfriend
These ones are being used but they will never agree…In their mind, they have a plan. “Las Las, i will Knack” they tell themselves, but In the end, they will never see bra hand. They usually go back home broke because they finished Mami ontop a woman’s head. They can be spotted hanging out with very beautiful girls.
The Stingy Ones
This ones never spend a dime more than is necessary. They never buy food from Mami, but will attest to the sweetness of kitchen food. This ones usually collect their tea inside nylon bag. They can usually be spotted in their extra large Khakis because they can’t bear to shape it for a whole one thousand, five hundred Naira.
The Thirtsy ones
These ones are the fine bobos. They walk around thirstily looking for Knack like its their birthright. These one’s will buy you a plate of food from Mami and expect you to knack them in return.
These ones will fight at the slightest provocation, be it bathroom, toilet or in fellowhip. They have a sharp mouth and since they are from the streets they usually don’t mind pulling off their polo and beating you on parade ground.
Which of these were you? Leave a comment please.