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My Danfo Experience (Three)


My Danfo Experience (Three)

My Danfo Experience (Three)

Today I was so unlucky; let me gist you…

But first first let me ask, what is wrong with some guys? Don’t they know that if you start up a conversation with a girl in the bus, you have to pay her transport? It’s in the constitution…

Okay, so today on my way out, I was lucky enough to find a bus that actually  resembled a bus. I even got a good seat by the window and everything seemed to be going fine.

The Danfo bus bus grumbled along at its usual snail pace but I didn’t mind.

“Good morning auntie”, one of the school girl in the bus called to me happily…I answered with a peachy smile and continued reading the eBook on my phone.

I should have known life was not all roses…

…”Hello I’m John” the Bros beside me nudged me and said boldly

…he was a fine guy sha, so I responded nicely

I should have known he was up to no good. Dude used rubber band to tie his wristwatch.

But being Ms optimistic, I proceeded to indulge in a lengthy conversation with him. He asked about my family, siblings and even asked up to the name of my village head sef…I answered oo. He told me about himself; ‘he just got back from ‘the abroad’ (Togo) where he had been schooling and he didn’t have many friends yet…As soon as he laid eyes on me, he liked me. He’d like us to be close and to hang out more often’

I nodded affirmatively like a lizard with belly ache… I know say all na wash, but who e concern?

“Last, last e go pay my transport naa” I kept telling myself reassuringly. I began to mentally calculate how much I would save from not paying the 150 transport that morning. I was going to indulge in my sinful pastime of a chilled bottle of coke.

As we reached the bus stop, Bros said he was going to alight. We quickly exchanged contacts (I REGRET!)

As he was going down, I saw a part of his boxers peeking out from his trousers; It was an ugly looking boxers. The boxers had brown little spots and I couldn’t tell if what I saw on the boxers were designs or stains…

But I refused to judge a book by its cover; or in this case, a guy by his boxers!

I was still optimistic when I saw him hand the conductor some money and pointed at me. I nodded at him and smiled. The conductor, who seemed satisfied with the exchange, entered into the bus and coaxed the door shut.

Soon enough, it was time for me to alight…

I forced my way out of the bus and began to walk away when the conductor dragged me back roughly

“Madam, you no go pay me my money?”

“AH,AH!!!, which money again?” I asked angrily.

“No make me vex oo…the conductor said angrily, squeezing his already rumpled  face”

“That bros wey comot, e give you money now…na for two of us”

“Which money! The conductor screamed as he lavishly sprayed saliva unto my face,

“Which money? Na 50 naira e give me oo, e say you go pay the remaining 100 naira,  say una dey waka together”

“I no understand” I muttered under my breath…”But I see as e dey give you money na”

“Madam it was 50 naira he gave him, I saw it” said one Aproko passenger sitting beside the window

“But I no know am naa, na for inside this your bus I meet am” I said, embarrassed to my bones…all I had in my purse was 300,my exact transport fare to and fro.

“Give me my money joor, the conductor said, already balling his hands into a fist. “You say you no know am…na im una two dey gist like that? Shut up joor”

The conductor proceeded to pour out some invectives that must not be repeated.

It was then I realised that John or whatever his bedevilled name was had played a fast one on me. All the while he pointed at me as if showing me to the conductor; he was busy telling the conductor that we were acquainted and that I was to pay. And me I was there smiling and nodding like a fool.

Ahh…I bit my lips to stop tears form rushing from my eyes

“How much is all the money” I asked quietly…if I dared raise my voice, I would have gotten a good beating that morning.

“250” the conductor spat angrily as he collected my last 300 naira and handed me a worn 50 naira as change.

If the bill had been more than that,maybe they’ll have made me wash the bus because shii shii, I no get.

…’John if you’re reading this, I will find you…’





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